Thursday, May 19, 2005

Back from the abyss

I've had a computer virus at work and haven't been able to get on the computer. I'm not sure what the problem was, but at one point I logged on here and the virus had come into this site. It had links from words from my posts to weird websites. It was strange. But I think we got that all tidied up now.

Vixanne - Thanks for the comment about my chart. I had another temp jump today, I'm not sure whether to blame it on what's going on inside or the fact that we need to turn on the AC. I'm so afraid to open the windows because I think it's going to make my temps drop. That's probably stupid, but I feel like this is a science experiment and I need to increase my reliability. I must be precise in all of my measurements. I don't really "feel" pregnant. I've been super unnecessarily tired...that's about all. I'm starving right now. But that's probably because I went on a run this morning and only ate a grapefruit for breakfast. See, that's the problem with possible pg because you can blame any symptom on something else or read into things that aren't symptoms. Ugh. So frustrating. I just wish that I were in control and could get pregnant now. Vixanne - I know you're sending vibes my way. You want company, I can completely understand.

My mood has been better lately. I've been spending less time at work....which definately helps my mood. They have announced that I'm officially leaving to the whole community. Sort of nice because now the pressure is off. Also sort of frustrating because it's smacking me in the face that I'm not going to be employed here in about 6 weeks. I'm trying not to freak out about how we're going to pay for everything. It all seems so weird. It's like a surreal life. I'm looking around me at the office I've had for seven years and it's hard to tell what is mine and what belongs to the school. My office is like a second home - hence the reason why I'm leaving. I spend way too much time here.

My garden is coming along splendidly. I'm going to take some pics to post on here for all of you who garden to see. My mom has been coming up every week and we have been tackling a flower bed each week. We're trying to do everything right by laying down weed blocker paper stuff, then topsoil, then mulch, etc. So far, so good. I bought some peonies and rhododendrons this week for one bed. My mom has brought a lot of stuff from her garden. I think working in the garden is therapeutic. I enjoy my time outside and I also love the progress that I make. It allows me time to think about Isaac all day long and also about the possiblity of another baby.

Okay, I need to get to work. Will post more later. Let me know what you think of my FF chart...

6 comments:

Julie said...

Holly, your chart is looking GREAT. I have everything crossed for you! I hope this is your month! Oh, by the way, I post in a group with another mom who lost her dd to ABS, if you want I can get her to talk to you. I think I saw somewhere where you hadn't found anyone else that lost a child to ABS?

Wendy Orrison and Holly Snyder said...

Julie -
That would be great. Could you have her come to this site or where do you post to her? I'm only a member of FF and of course blogging. I would really love the support of someone who has gone through the same diagnosis, etc. Thanks so much.

Roxanne said...

I just think that being so in shape has got to do something...I mean...I'm in crappy crappy shape and somehow I managed to get knocked up again...so you should get your reward for that. But maybe I'm annoying you with my rah rah-ness. I am just going to secretly wish and hope for you.

Susie said...

Holly, I'm happy to hear that being outdoors and working in the garden is helping so much. I think it's so therapeutic to be in the sunshine!

I know leaving work is scary but I have to say that my break from employment (when my husband took a job overseas for 2 years and I couldn't work there for legal/language reasons) was the best thing that happened to me after my first two miscarriages. I really needed a break from going to my office every day.

I'm glad things are going well! I'm crossing my fingers for you too.

Susie
notahabit

Jillian said...

Holly, I just checked out your chart and it really is looking good. I'm with Vixanne on the fitness reward theory - you deserve it for that alone!

I know what you mean about room temp and bbt. It is getting cold here and I sleep with my thermometre between my boobs to keep the end warm lest it cool down my mouth! Also sleep with my head under the blankets in case the cold air going in my nose makes my mouth cold...

I'll be checking on your chart and keeping my fingers crossed for you:)

Julie said...

Sorry Holly, I just now saw your reply to me on your comments, I will ask D to post to you in TTC after a loss on FF. I am sure she won't mind. I looked at your chart........damn it!! (((hugs)))