Okay...not really. I don't have any wild, crazy sex stories, I'm not that skinny, and MY boobs are real. But I feel like my boobs are as big and rotund as hers are. They are so big and thick, I feel like they are silicone. Ugh. And my belly continues to grow. What do they call "popping"? Because I think I might have done that this weekend. It's just that now I look fatter and can't suck it in. Also, I can pretty clearly feel the outline of my uterus. Is that "popping"? Still feeling like poo most of the time...I let DH have his way with me this morning. It's just so different when you're pregnant. I feel fat and nasty and the last thing I want to do is get naked and roll around with another person. Ugh. But he seemed satisfied...we'll see if that can last him another three weeks. Probably not, considering he said that maybe we could do it again this afternoon....ha! What is he thinking? TMI...sorry.
Okay, I need to go grocery shopping and to buy something to settle my stomach down. We had Hardee's for breakfast...remind me not to do that again. Fried food doesn't sit well with me. On that note, most food (especially if I have been the one to prepare it) doesn't sit well with me. I wish that DH would agree to eat cereal every night for dinner. Ugh. He did offer to cook one night this week. I'll be eating cereal that night.
On a side note, I think my mom and I may start our own little side business. We're going to sew cute, trendy, preppy tote bags to sell. I'll post some pics once we get some samples made. We'll see where this goes. We're going shopping for fabric in Charlottesville next week. I'm actually excited about something!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
10 weeks
It seems impossible that I'm 10 weeks pregnant. It also seems impossible that I have 30 more weeks of worrying like I have for the past 7. How will I make it? Ugh. I'm predicting a change over to maternity clothes here in the next 2 weeks. I'm getting thick around the middle. And I can't wait for our ultrasound on October 11. I might go crazy before then. I keep worrying that I'm just getting fatter because I'm eating more. And that I'm eating more because I just "think" I'm still pregnant. What if I've lost the baby and just don't know it yet. That's what keeps going through my mind. Ugh. Okay, school is about to start. Have a great weekend.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Update
FF pisses me off...I just had to pay $17 bucks just to check the boards. I wouldn't mind, except one of my buddy groups is a major source of support. Hoenstly, there are so many free opportunities out there to share with other expecting moms. But there is only one group (that I know of) that offers the same support and has been through the same tough decisions that I have been through. I think we might move the buddy group....but I already shelled out the $$. I do have to say that I completely understand where FF is coming from, they offer such a service and I don't blame them for asking people to cough up some change. But I don't have any $$ right now to pay for a FF VIP membership...and for that same reason, I think they may lose customers. I think that is unfortunate, that is where I have found most of you all for goodness sake. And what would I do without the support of the people here?? Not to mention how many other people who are turning away - the support network will probably crumble. I guess we'll see.
Lance Armstrong got engaged to Sheryl Crow. I watched Oprah today and it brought tears to my eyes. I must still be pregnant, I cry at the drop of a hat. I actually had an all out bawling episode last night while I was walking the dog. I guess you could say that I feel guilty. I just wish that Isaac was here with us and I feel guilty that I'm so excited for this other baby. Then I feel guilty that if we had Isaac, there wouldn't be any other baby. Where would that leave us then? I don't know, I've been trying to talk to Isaac every day and get every emotion out that I'm feeling. I can't stand to keep it bottled up.
As for pregnancy symptoms, they're dwindling. Last week, my boobs were huge and sore. Now either I've gotten used to them or maybe they're not as big? And they're definately not as sore. I still have terrible gas, but how do I know that's not from what I ate last night? I'm definately still nauseous/hungry feeling sometimes, but I just keep thinkiong something is wrong. I don't know, it's like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've heard other people in the same situation say the same thing, but I never understood it until now. My cat jumped on my belly this weekend, I hope that nothing is wrong now. He landed right where the baby could have been. I'm just trying to count on the fact that there's lots of padding in there on the outside and also in the inside...but I'm still a nervous wreck. This entire pregnancy is going to be this way and I think I might go crazy.
Okay, I need to go for now. My computer time is up :( I'll check in soon.
Lance Armstrong got engaged to Sheryl Crow. I watched Oprah today and it brought tears to my eyes. I must still be pregnant, I cry at the drop of a hat. I actually had an all out bawling episode last night while I was walking the dog. I guess you could say that I feel guilty. I just wish that Isaac was here with us and I feel guilty that I'm so excited for this other baby. Then I feel guilty that if we had Isaac, there wouldn't be any other baby. Where would that leave us then? I don't know, I've been trying to talk to Isaac every day and get every emotion out that I'm feeling. I can't stand to keep it bottled up.
As for pregnancy symptoms, they're dwindling. Last week, my boobs were huge and sore. Now either I've gotten used to them or maybe they're not as big? And they're definately not as sore. I still have terrible gas, but how do I know that's not from what I ate last night? I'm definately still nauseous/hungry feeling sometimes, but I just keep thinkiong something is wrong. I don't know, it's like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've heard other people in the same situation say the same thing, but I never understood it until now. My cat jumped on my belly this weekend, I hope that nothing is wrong now. He landed right where the baby could have been. I'm just trying to count on the fact that there's lots of padding in there on the outside and also in the inside...but I'm still a nervous wreck. This entire pregnancy is going to be this way and I think I might go crazy.
Okay, I need to go for now. My computer time is up :( I'll check in soon.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Still preggars
I haven't posted in a while...this damn no computer thing is going to kill me, I swear. I have to sneak into my husband's office and can't always get over here. Ugh.
Anyway, I'm still chugging along here. I woke up 5 (yes 5) times last night to pee while attempting to sleep. Needless to say, I'm exhausted today. About to go home and take a nap. Still feeling nauseous in addition to the cold that I'm nursing right now - I spent the entire weekend in bed while FIL visited. Totally cold related, not pregnancy related...so no need to spill the beans to him. Thank goodness. I think I need to stop eating salads at lunch. They're not sitting too well with me this week. I need something hearty like a turkey sub every day. Maybe DH would deliver one every day to school...or not. My tatas are enormous - I started out a 38D, so you can use your imagination. I swear they both weigh 20 pounds apiece!
Alrighty, I need to get going. I need to go lay down. I feel so lame that my posts have been so short lately. Honestly, it's all that I can muster right now. Hoping to be feeling better soon and able to devote a little more energy and time at the computer!
Anyway, I'm still chugging along here. I woke up 5 (yes 5) times last night to pee while attempting to sleep. Needless to say, I'm exhausted today. About to go home and take a nap. Still feeling nauseous in addition to the cold that I'm nursing right now - I spent the entire weekend in bed while FIL visited. Totally cold related, not pregnancy related...so no need to spill the beans to him. Thank goodness. I think I need to stop eating salads at lunch. They're not sitting too well with me this week. I need something hearty like a turkey sub every day. Maybe DH would deliver one every day to school...or not. My tatas are enormous - I started out a 38D, so you can use your imagination. I swear they both weigh 20 pounds apiece!
Alrighty, I need to get going. I need to go lay down. I feel so lame that my posts have been so short lately. Honestly, it's all that I can muster right now. Hoping to be feeling better soon and able to devote a little more energy and time at the computer!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Lions and tigers and bears...oh my!
I wish that I had a great, inspirational post for today. Unfortunately, I'm exhausted and no assembled thoughts are coming out of my head. I'm feeling good today, which is good because yesterday I thought I would die. I never threw up, but felt as though something was going to blow from one end or the other. Have you ever heard of pregnant women having problems with their bowels? I wouldn't exactly call it diarrhea - I went twice yesterday. But I feel like my stomach and bowels are going to implode. Is that morning sickness? I also have the whole nauseous, feel like I'm going to spit up at all times thing going too. It's hard to know what is and is not associated to pregnancy. I thought maybe I ate something bad. I have no idea. This pregnancy is definately different than the last, maybe it's a girl this time. Or maybe that is a sign that things are different (ie. better)? Just playing guessing games with myself here. I'm chugging and plugging every day, I can't believe that I will be 8 weeks tomorrow. I've known I was pregnant for five weeks now...that seems unreal. What seems even more unreal is that we have 32 more weeks to go. Ugh.
Non-pregnancy related...I saw a black bear this morning. I shit you not, there was a black bear in the middle of my road this morning. It was foggy and at first I thought it was a big dog. Nope, when I honked my horn the bear turned to look at me and was clearly a bear. It was no bigger than a great dane (fluffier, but not bigger). It then ran down for about a quarter of a mile and I proceeded to drive after it in bewilderment. Finally, (as a grand finale) it jumped up onto a five foot tall fence post as easily as my cat does. Steadied itself on top of the fence post with all fours, then lept over the other side. It trotted through the pasture toward the woods. I can't believe I saw a freaking bear - maybe there was some sort of drug in my cereal this morning! I've lived in VA for 7 years now...this is my first bear! Sort of exciting.
Shortly after the bear sighting, my car started acting funny. Long story short, I ended up being towed into town. Luckily a policeman passed by only five minutes after my car stopped working. My radiator has to be replaced...it could be Monday before it's finished. Ugh. That means that DH and I are carpooling. There goes my freedom!
I've been thinking a lot about Isaac this past week. We shared his picture book with MIL when she was here last weekend. This is her first visit in two years. DH says we should get them out more often to look at them. We will have to make a point to do so...I never want his memory to fade.
Non-pregnancy related...I saw a black bear this morning. I shit you not, there was a black bear in the middle of my road this morning. It was foggy and at first I thought it was a big dog. Nope, when I honked my horn the bear turned to look at me and was clearly a bear. It was no bigger than a great dane (fluffier, but not bigger). It then ran down for about a quarter of a mile and I proceeded to drive after it in bewilderment. Finally, (as a grand finale) it jumped up onto a five foot tall fence post as easily as my cat does. Steadied itself on top of the fence post with all fours, then lept over the other side. It trotted through the pasture toward the woods. I can't believe I saw a freaking bear - maybe there was some sort of drug in my cereal this morning! I've lived in VA for 7 years now...this is my first bear! Sort of exciting.
Shortly after the bear sighting, my car started acting funny. Long story short, I ended up being towed into town. Luckily a policeman passed by only five minutes after my car stopped working. My radiator has to be replaced...it could be Monday before it's finished. Ugh. That means that DH and I are carpooling. There goes my freedom!
I've been thinking a lot about Isaac this past week. We shared his picture book with MIL when she was here last weekend. This is her first visit in two years. DH says we should get them out more often to look at them. We will have to make a point to do so...I never want his memory to fade.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Things that make me want to vomit
** My B complex vitamin
** The potroast that I made for dinner last night
** The chicken casserole that I made the night before
** The smell of the cafeteria at school
My boobs have grown so big in the last two days. I"m not sure where they came from, but they have arrived! Funny, they never even really hurt that much.
DH and I talked again last night. We're going to have to take this day by day and I'm going to have to work to be more understanding of his point of view. It's just so hard to know how to act or what to think.
Okay, I need to go for now. MIL is coming for the weekend!
** The potroast that I made for dinner last night
** The chicken casserole that I made the night before
** The smell of the cafeteria at school
My boobs have grown so big in the last two days. I"m not sure where they came from, but they have arrived! Funny, they never even really hurt that much.
DH and I talked again last night. We're going to have to take this day by day and I'm going to have to work to be more understanding of his point of view. It's just so hard to know how to act or what to think.
Okay, I need to go for now. MIL is coming for the weekend!
Friday, September 02, 2005
My checklist...
Baby...check
Size of baby on target....check
Heartbeat...check
How do you describe the feeling of relief that comes over you when you hear this news. Heartrate was 138 BPM, I even got to hear it. Technology is amazing. My baby is the size of an appleseed, yet I can hear the little nugget's heart beating. The baby measured 6W6D exactly, which is exactly where I was yesterday. Everything looks good...for now. I'm so relieved. Although DH and I had a sobering conversation last night about the difference between our outlooks on this new bambino. He is having a hard time being excited. I don't blame him, but I don't want to cheat this baby either. I think it deserves the same love, happiness, and anticipation that Isaac got. It's hard for Bryan to hear about how this baby is changing and what is new with this baby. I am trying to do just he opposite. This is so hard....I thought this would be the good part.
Okay, I'm off now to stuff my face and worry about the next thing that might go wrong with our baby.
Size of baby on target....check
Heartbeat...check
How do you describe the feeling of relief that comes over you when you hear this news. Heartrate was 138 BPM, I even got to hear it. Technology is amazing. My baby is the size of an appleseed, yet I can hear the little nugget's heart beating. The baby measured 6W6D exactly, which is exactly where I was yesterday. Everything looks good...for now. I'm so relieved. Although DH and I had a sobering conversation last night about the difference between our outlooks on this new bambino. He is having a hard time being excited. I don't blame him, but I don't want to cheat this baby either. I think it deserves the same love, happiness, and anticipation that Isaac got. It's hard for Bryan to hear about how this baby is changing and what is new with this baby. I am trying to do just he opposite. This is so hard....I thought this would be the good part.
Okay, I'm off now to stuff my face and worry about the next thing that might go wrong with our baby.
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