So, I went to see a speaker here on campus this week about honorable competition in sport. His name is Dan Doyle He was excellent. Mostly, he made me think about my current leadership strategies and position in life. But at the end of his presentation, he talked about their first child. Their first child was born healthy, but progressed slowly in his development. Slowly, he and his wife watched as he lagged further and further behind where he should have been developmentally. When they went to the doctor after a long while, they discovered that their son was severely autistic. And their doctor gave them a schpiel about their situation. Their doctor told them that they could take two views on the situation:
1. They could let this define them. They could be bitter at the situation and place blame.
2. Or they could accept their situation and try to do things in the world to make it better for people who suffer from a similar situation.
I think this is what Lorraine Ash has tried to do. To try to help people who are in my same shoes is all that I can offer. So far, it's at least helpful.
Granted this guy gets to experience his first born every day. I'm envious for that. I would take Isaac with autism - just to have him. But we didn't get that, we got our own son with his own problems. And we only got to spend a short while with him before we had to turn him over to the nurses.
But this speaker also made me think about progress. How is my progress? Am I doing better than I was yesterday? Last week at this time? A month ago? The week before Isaac was born? The day that we found out? I do think that I am making progress. I went to the endocrinologist yesterday and was able to talk about Isaac's birth without crying. Inside, I am feeling like the tornado is now just a wind storm. Life is no longer whizzing by while I am standing still. I feel like I am doing better at work and am starting to care more about other things around me. I can feel for other people for the first time in a month or so.
I can also take the time to consider the emotions that my husband is going through. His way of dealing with it is to stay busy and distracted. I've tried that. I think I just need to face it, head on and go from there.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I loved "Life Touches Life." I couldn't put it down. It's the only one I've managed to get all the way though since losing Audrey. By the way, I hate my ass too.
Hi Holly.
I found your website on a link from someone else's. I, too, lost a baby at 21 weeks. It's a terrible feeling, one that only someone who has been there can understand. My heart goes out to you.
I love that poem - and this book you are reading sounds amazing.
I wish good things for you.
Amanda
Post a Comment