Distractions

We are thinking of opening a bagel shop here in my town. I'm not sure if this is a distraction technique or if it's actually going to go through. I honestly want to do it. My friend and business partner have been working hard to produce quality bagels. So far, so good. It has been good to keep my mind off of Isaac. I just want to know that if we do it, we will make money. I have no doubt that we will make some money, it's a question of whether we are going to make enough money to make it worth our while. You see, we both hate our jobs now (we work together). We have been looking for something else to do. She is a foodie, I am not. But a bagel shop may just be the answer to our prayers. But if we're both going to quit our jobs to do this, we should make sure that we will profit financially from that move. Hmmm.

Today is a beautiful day here, I cleaned out most of my flower beds. It's amazing how cleansing that is. I feel so much better just by reducing the clutter of old leaves and brush around the house. Cleaning in general is very cleansing...Ironic, isn't it? I've cleaned my stove and my baseboards and scrubbed my bathtub and painted my bathroom. Now today I cleared the flower beds out side. Distraction, yes. But also it makes me feel so much better inside. The new spring flowers are sprouting! This always perks up my spirits. Every year, without fail, those perennials just pop up above the ground surface. Usually at this time of year, I have to dig under the dead plants from last year to find them. But I do love it.

I'm taking a history class for my education degree. I like to go to this class only for the sake that no one knows me there. No one knows my history and my baggage. Typically, everywhere I go people know me. It's a small town here and everyone knows our story. It wears me out. I feel like I'm always being watched for emotion, etc. But when I'm at history class, it's like I'm outside of my skin. I can put all that has happened behind us for 2 hours and 50 minutes. No one is looking at me for a reaction, no one is trying to assess how I'm doing that day. Again, cleansing in some ways.

We did it again without a condom last night. I just hate using those little slippery suckers. It is a buzz kill or rather a mood kill. You have to stop all the passion and romance to slip the little guy on. Then it usually takes us a little bit to get back into it. I hate it. I told DH to just forget it last night and enjoy! I still have no idea what is wrong with my body. I can't figure out why my temps are so erratic. I shelled out $10 last night at CVS for a new BB Thermometer. I'm hoping that solves the problem. If I think that I'm going to put more effort into TTC here pretty soon, I better get things with my body figured out.