This is what happens when you get home and the freaking mailbox has a sample package of huggies attached to it. Thank you, Huggies. I appreciate the free diaper, yet it is only a reminder of what we don't have.
I have been thinking a lot of older people who I know that only have one child. I work at a university and know many college age kids, several who are only children. Now I find myself wondering if their parents had similar problems. Did they lose a baby or have difficulty and decide to only have one child as a result. It makes me wonder. It's just that so many people have come out of the woodwork to share their stories of loss. I'm sure there are many more out there who have experienced it that I don't know of. Just food for thought, I guess. I was reading over on Baby or Bust and Sara was talking about the wedding that she attended this weekend. Of course, she got put at the dreaded pregnant woman's table, but discovered that all wasn't peaches in cream in this woman of loss's life. Apparently, the woman had infertility problems herself and even several losses before her successful pregnancy.
It has made me think about the people around me. What is really going on in their lives that I don't know about. I've heard so many stories about this. For example, while we were in Disney, I met a woman at the pool. We start talking about her little boy (who is playing with my 8 year old nephew). She says "It took us eight years to have him...he's spoiled to death". Well, that leads into whether we'll have kids soon or not and eventually I spill the beans. Yes, we've lost our child. This is actually a get away to get my mind off of it...yada, yada. Come to find out, this lady has had infertility problems herself and two of her sisters have had late losses. She was so therapeutic to talk to. I usually don't share any info with strangers, especially about what has happened. But maybe God put that lady there for me to share with. It turned out to be a great conversation. As Sara says on Baby or Bust, her way of coping is sharing. I share too, it's just that usually it's in a safe, anonymous place (my blog).
Anyway, to make a short story long, I guess that I'm just more aware of the people around me now. I don't think that I'm going to be a super showy pregnant lady next time around. In fact, we plan to keep it from everyone in our lives for as long as possible for the sake of caution.
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2 comments:
Don't you hate those damn mailings?? I hated those and the cans of formula it seems kept coming. Ugh.
Ugh, I am sorry you got diapers. Wonder if the marketers behind those mailings ever get nasty letters from people like us that, "hey, my baby died you fuckers. Take me off your list." Not to god for loyalty, I'll tell ya.
On the topic of secrecy, it's one I can relate to and I've lived it both ways. I lived my first 4 miscarriage in utter self-imposed isolation (in fact it was my first blog topic)... and it was quite depressing. This time around, we're opening up a bit more about it, and I'm always shocked at how many other women who come out of the woodwork with similar stories of loss or infertility. I think I'm enjoying the openness more than the secrecy... though we'll see what happens if I'm lucky enough to stay PG again.
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